Family. You gotta love them. But during the holidays, sometimes it’s better to love them from a distance. You know the ones we’re talking about. They show up unannounced, overstay their welcome and manage to piss off just about everybody they encounter at dinner.
Let’s face it. This is the time of year when you remember why you moved so far away from your peeps in the first place.
Some relatives are a joy to be around and others, well let’s just say they should stay home and make their own dinner. The doorbell rings and your joy soon turns to dismay. Every year you plan a simple dinner and look forward to breaking bread with your loved ones. And every year someone acts like a jerk and turns a quiet dinner into a screaming match.
Not only did they not bring a dish with them, they criticize your cooking, tell you how to raise your kids and terrorize the dog. And once the alcohol starts flowing (which they didn’t buy or contribute to), they start talking trash. The more they drink, the worse it gets.
Dinner’s not for another hour and you are ready to give your drunken uncle a serious beatdown. He just won’t shut up. Even your 90-year old grandmother is ready to kick her shoes off, pull her hair back and go upside his head.
Don’t worry, you are not alone. Holidays seem to bring out the worst in some people. No, that’s not it at all. Some people are just jerks.
Here is our advice. Try not to let them get to you. Sometimes you just have to put them in their place. Explain to them that coming to the family Christmas dinner is a privilege, not a right.
If that doesn’t work, a punch to the throat might help them see the light. Just kidding.
No, we’re serious.