Here’s a bit of disgusting news for you today. A San Diego Chargers security guard was caught on camera masturbating while watching the cheerleaders. Yes, you heard right. Caught masturbating. Jerkin’ the gherkin. Choking the chicken. That’s enough euphemisms for today, but you get the picture. All of this took place during the Oakland Raiders 19–16 defeat of the San Diego Chargers. In the middle of the game, a sharp-eyed fan whipped out his phone and began filming the disgusting act.
Football Security Guard Plays With Himself; Team Still Loses
Unfortunately, the security guard’s on-field contribution was not appreciated and did not help the team. The Chargers still lost the game 19–16 and saw their playoff hopes die before the game even began. His actions were an insult to injury, as the Chargers failed to make the playoffs for the third consecutive year. The online community tracked down the company, Elite Security, and demanded an explanation. Elite Security PR staff issued the following statement:
Elite has become aware of the social media post of inappropriate actions of an Elite staff member at Qualcomm Stadium on December 18th. Elite has employed thousands of people over the past 21 years, insists on the highest moral standards from our employees and regrets this isolated incident. Elite is currently investigating the incident and has no additional comment at this time.
Many feel that this is an inadequate response, as they do not seem to admit fault or issue an apology. The video makes it difficult to argue that he was doing anything else with his junk. This makes Elite Security’s “neither confirm nor deny” stance a bit inappropriate.
As for the San Diego Chargers, they expressed regret for the incident:
We are aware of the disturbing actions of an Elite security staff member at Sunday’s game. We apologize to any fans who may have witnessed the incident.
Appropriate Action Taken
In the end, there was some good news. The security guard was found by Elite Security and immediately fired. It was odd since he had passed all criminal background checks and screening procedures that would normally weed out employees like him. Elite Security issued an apology to the fans, vowing to never allow for this to happen again. As for the security guard, he could face charges for his inappropriate actions. If anything, he will be forever remembered on the internet for being possibly the biggest misplay of the game.