10 Reasons Satan Is Bringing Fuller House to Netflix

“Fuller House” Coming To Netflix

This spring while fulfilling his master’s bidding, John Stamos announced to the world on Jimmy Kimmell Live that Satan was returning from the 9th plane of hell to reunite the cast of Full House for the Netflix special: Fuller House.

The announcement of Fuller House now begs one question: what is Satan up to and why is he summoning his minions to recreate the most horrific multi-sensory attack humanity has ever experienced through a television set? We caught up with “The Prince of Darkness” himself and asked him straight up: A Full House Reunion? Why now?

“I Own John Stamos’s Soul and Use It To Sell Yoghurt”

“Look, if you owned John Stamos’s soul what would you do with it? He cant act, his singing sucks and his songs are Nickleback-bad. Aside from playing bongos with The Beach Boys once a year he only has one talent: convincing women to eat thick sweet sugary yoghurt.

Getting women to increase their caloric intake is one thing Stamos actually does well! They take one look at Stamos and start gobbling that stuff up. They’d eat a chocolate cake wrapped in bacon every morning if Stamos told them it was good for them.”

John Stamos, Fuller House Netflix star and sugary yoghurt pedlar.