Should You Turn Down a Second Date?
You went on one date and it was OK. Or maybe it was a total disaster. Maybe you never want to see the guy again, or maybe you’re just feeling kind of blah about the whole thing.
Eventually the inevitable happens: he asks you on a second date.
Maybe he’s a really nice guy and you feel like you’d be a terrible person if you turned him down. Or maybe you hate his guts, but somehow, you still can’t bring yourself to say no.
But you should!
Here are three reasons why it’s totally acceptable to turn down a second date:
1) Saying No Right Away Shows Respect For His Feelings
If you agree to go on a second date when you know there’s definitely no possibility of a romance developing, then you’re lying to your date. Telling him you want to go out again creates the impression that you believe the relationship is worth pursuing. The longer you wait to break it off, the harder it’s going to be, and you’re not doing your date any favors by stringing him along – even if you’re doing it out of respect for his feelings.
Think about it: would you rather have someone tell you no right away? Or tell you no after leading you to believe they really liked you?
Turn down a second date before the situation gets out of hand, and you’ll spare everyone’s feelings.
2) Saying No Keeps You From Wasting Time
If you know in your heart of hearts that nothing is going to come from a date, but you go out anyway, you’re just wasting everyone’s time. Assuming that both you and your date are searching for a romantic relationship, it’s more effective for both of you to try a new partner rather than keep going out with each other when there’s just no spark. Time is precious, so turning someone down after a first (or second) date shows that you respect that person enough to not waste his time.
Also, don’t waste your own time! Remember that your time is just as precious as his, and you have the right to spend it doing what you want to do. So if you don’t want to go out again, don’t!
3) Don’t Shortchange Yourself
Here’s the thing: women often feel guilty if they turn down a second date, but it’s far better to be true to yourself than to get stuck in a false relationship just because saying no makes you feel like a bad person.
Yes, you should show respect towards your potential date. But ultimately, the person you should show the most respect for is yourself. Wasting your own time doing something you don’t enjoy and won’t benefit from sends a message to yourself that’s far worse than any message you could send to your date by refusing him. It says that you don’t care enough about yourself to take a stand on what’s important in your life – what could ultimately be the single most important decision you’ll ever make, and one that has the potential to either make your life wonderful or completely ruin it.
All this is assuming you know you don’t like a guy. If you feel like there’s some chemistry, it may be worth another shot. If you’re still not feeling anything after the second date, then you know what to do.
Reinvent your dating life by being truer to yourself. Once you accomplish that, you’ll discover that by being true to yourself, you can’t be false to anyone.