Love has its incredible moments. Memories of your wedding day put a smile on your face. Date night is a highlight of every week. But love has its downside. Sometimes, your other half is just too much to bear. Maybe you’re just in a bad mood and in need of alone time. Or you’re still fuming from an unresolved argument. If you don’t address your feelings, you’re essentially a ticking time bomb. It’s important to take action. The next time you find your spouse annoying, deal with it in a productive way.
Realize annoyance is a good thing
When you find your partner annoying, it’s a sign of comfort. The two of you know each other well enough to push the other’s buttons. This kind of annoyance is a good thing because it speaks to the depth of your relationship. But it also shows that you’re not complacent.
Use some humor
Little quirks or weird habits are often the source of your annoyance—not something bigger. So, lighten the mood with a little joke about the behavior that’s driving you crazy. If you don’t like when she paints her nails in the bedroom, respond with something like, “Wait, let me get my gas mask first”. You can communicate that you’re annoyed without being aggressive or rude.
Sure, a certain behavior might make your blood boil, but you’re not perfect. Those little quirks are what makes your partner who he or she is. And you’ve got them, too. There are plenty of times when you do or say things that are just as annoying. If you don’t think so, ask. You’d be surprised.
Speak for yourself only
Some of the embarrassing behavior might take place in public. And, it’s natural to assume that what annoys you also annoys everyone around you. But don’t assume. Realize that it’s only you that’s upset, and it’s only you that has to deal with it. It’s not everyone else’s problem.
It’s really about you
When your partner annoys you, it’s not about your spouse. It’s about you. So, instead of picking apart all the things you can’t stand about your wife, think about what your irritations say about you. Maybe you need to loosen up or practice more patience.
Every marriage has moments of annoyance. They’re unavoidable. But they are solvable. With a little humility and humor, you can keep your marriage intact and even strengthen your relationship.